This is my December/ This is my time of the year ...
This is my December/ This is oh-so-clear...
I haven't really been in a much of a 'holiday mood' this month, having to work on three of my end-of-semester assignments (which are all due early next January). Which suits me just fine, actually. Though not a hardcore introvert, I haven't really been in a social or festive mood these past few weeks (and will thus having nothing to say on all the Christmas jingles released this towards this time of the year). And I live in tropical, evergreen Malaysia; snow and Christmas trees are only found inside shopping malls, and perhaps in churches and Christian households. Climate-wise, it could be any other day, any other month.
But the end of a year always brings out the existentialist part of me. In between working on my research papers and procrastinating, I think about graduating next year, and ponder these questions: 'where am I going?', 'who am I becoming?' and 'what do I want to become?' Writing this blog post is also a chance for me to think about my personal relationship to music: my music-listening habits, the kind of music I find himself gravitating to, the kind of music I feel inspired to write about, the kind of music that I used to like but can't really relate to anymore.
I don't really listen to mainstream music these days; I tend to prefer indie music with calm beats, breezy melodies and lyrics that open up opportunities for active thought and contemplation. But chart hits have a way of making their existence known anyway; all I needed was a few rides in my friends'cars to know that Adele ('Hello'), Justin Bieber ('Sorry', 'What Do You Mean') and Drake ('Hotline Bling') were dominating the airwaves this month. (The lyrics to 'Hotline Bling' are actually very petty - so what if your ex has moved on and has found a new life without you? - but the beat is irresistibly catchy. Erykah Badu's remix is also a must-listen) In Youtube-land, where I often hang out, Psy was trying to replicate the success of 'Gangnam Style' by releasing an intentionally weirded-out music video for 'Daddy'.
But I was paying more attention to M.I.A.'s 'Borders', which was released on 27 November. Sometimes I feel guilty of spending too much time in pop culture-land, which is often pointedly divorced from all the 'real-world issues' that I might rather be distracted from. But M.I.A. demonstrates that 'the personal is political' in a manner that makes for interesting art and arresting activism. The images in the video - all those men squeezed onto a tiny boat, the boat made up of refugee bodies, the bodies forming the word 'LIFE' on that tall metal fence - are searing. The lyrics insist on facing the thorny question of immigration policy directly, while acknowledging that no ready political solution is available:
'Borders (What's up with that?)Politics (What's up with that?)Police shots (What's up with that?)Identities (What's up with that?)Your privilege (What's up with that?)Broke people (What's up with that?)Boat people (What's up with that?)The realness (What's up with that?)The new world (What's up with that?)Am gonna keep up on all that'
While she faced some backlash for seeming to exploit the European refugee crisis to draw attention to her music, Mathangi "Maya" Arulpragasam has pointed out, in an interview with TIME Magazine, that this is an issue that she's always felt deeply and personally connected with, having been a Sri Lankan Tamil refugee who grew up in London. (Malaysia has its own highly restrictive policies towards refugees, and I can't really phantom any change in this area within the next decade).
The other noteworthy music video released this month would probably be Miley Cyrus' 'BB Talk'. The track itself is decent, a confessional tune that features spoken verses and an evocative chorus that deals with Miley's point-blank inability to handle her love interests' 'baby talk': 'I'm really starting to be in this whole thing, but no matter what you do, homegirl can't handle the fucking goo/ Fuck me so you stop baby talking'. (So Miley/Miley's lyrical persona has limits too - who knew?) I can't really speak highly of the video; it seems to be deliberately courting controversy by depicting Ms. Cyrus as an adult (sexualized) baby. But perhaps there's an implicit commentary about how women are infantilized in America's sexual culture?
Here are some other highlights of the month:
1) Tame Impala's 'The Less I Know the Better' psychedelic music video, which features a love triangle between a cheerleader/rhythmic gymnast, a basketballer and Trevor the gorilla school mascot (released on 29 November)
2) Grimes' new track 'Flesh Without Blood' had been released in late October, but a few short documentary videos on the artistic process behind Art Angels (2015) was released this month, by Fader and Seli7 (in the latter, she talks about the four alter-egos that appear in the video).
3) Indie acts The Cairos ('Love Don't Feel Right'), Tei Shi ('Get It'), Chairlift ('Romeo') and You Say Party ('Ignorance') each released an interesting music video to accompany their singles.
The track that best captures my mood this month would have to be Toronto-based Prince Innocence's 'Manic', which can be categorised as 'minimalist chillwave'. With its moody, brooding atmosphere and lyrical turns like 'from dark hallways/ and wasted days/ When will this fade/ Away?' ... the track is, as Rawiya Kamier of Fader notes, perfect for "end-of-the-summer existentialism" (make that end-of-the-year existentialism). The couple behind Prince Innocence, Josh and Talvi, have revealed that the track was partly inspired by a recovery from a depressive episode, thus pointing towards a state of re-negotiating one's connection to the external world: "'Manic' is about the experience of hypomania and the emergence from a depressive episode...It tries to convey the lush, cinematic lens through which someone in that state sees and interacts with the world. At the same time, there's a dark recognition of the universality and banality behind these moments."
As Talvi Faustmann sings, with just a hint of sultry darkness, 'this kind exchange to make a change/ for you ...' , I think of what lays ahead next year, after my last semester and graduation into the working world, of possible career paths and paths not taken, of what's left behind and what I'm hoping will come, of what I'm subconsciously trying to avoid or run away from ...and all the great music I've yet to listen to, waiting just beyond the horizon.
