Idina Menzel
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A Lion, a Dentist and a Douche

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I admit it, I am an avid fan of the "Wizard of Oz" and "Wicked" the Broadway musical which, as much as you want to hide it or deny it, gave us the best Sing-Alone-Inside-A-Car tune "Defying Gravity" feat. Idina Menzel.

For those of you who haven't seen it, "Wicked" spotlights the untold stories of Oz's most famous (or infamous) characters known as Elphaba or the Wicked Witch of the West and her unlikely friend, Glinda the Good. The story is a prequel to the movie and moves along without mentioning the 3 main characters in the movie the Scarecrow (brainless), Tin Man (heartless) and the Cowardly Lion.

Universal Studios and award winner "Wicked" writer Winnie Holzmann announced recently they are working on a Wicked sequel centered around this 3 forgotten characters, this time based on a true story.

The plot centers around a Heartless Dentist who travels far, far away to a lawless third world country to lure Cecil the Lion with food out of a protected National Park, shot it with a crossbow, tracked him down for 40 hours and finally killed it with a gun. Then, he beheaded and skinned Cecil The Lion so he could use both as trophies, leaving the slaughtered body behind.

Upon his return to Oz, he is heavily criticized by munchkins, who start a fierce PR campaign to discredit the Heartless Dentist. The story takes an unexpected turn when a brainless Douche, sent by higher political forces at Oz, intervenes and wages a short, but crude, social media war against the munchkins.

As with any other broadway play, the munchkins win, and the story ends happily ever after when Cecil is survived by its pregnant lionness who immigrates to Oz searching for a better life, despite claims from the Wizard that this third world country is sending their rapist and murderers to Oz and demands birth certificates but the story is already wrapped up: the Dentist, the Douche and Cecil are no other than Tin Man, Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion fathers, respectively.

Many years later, the munchkins toppled the Wizard from power and democratically elected the first woman as president of Oz.

She froze not just Tin Man's assets but himself so he could reflect on his ancestors actions until he could find a heart for himself, which never happened because once a heartless always a heartless. She hung Scarecrow on a cross in a corn field with an ipod shuffling all his stupid songs, which made him not only more stupid but also a severe case of erectyle disfunction. As for the Cowardly Lion, he ran away to the forests of Oz hoping to never be found again.

... And then came the Wizard of Oz, the movie.

Until next time and long live Cecil the Lion...

P.S. Stephen Schwartz lyricist of the original "Wicked" was unavailable but Universal is happy to report the Douche will be played by no other than Ted Nugent, who will also score "Wicked 2" so they promised a sequel full of soulless, meaningless rock songs. Guest appearance by Donald Trump as the Wizard.