There is no past. It simply does not exist anymore. Well, I’m lying – that’s obvious. I’m just trying to make my lies sound convincing to me at least. I always was a good liar, but I never used this feature actually. For real… And that’s funny you know. So, past – is there any evidence of its importance? Is there something real in me or something that I can touch to convince myself that past matters? I was sure there were evidences – it was a few days ago. But now as I look in my mirror somewhere… well, it’s a border land of the world, and I feel like I was wrong. Yeah, I was. My reflection smiles at me. I am scared of shaving now – but I’m scared of not shaving even more! So I’ve got this dilemma. So I just look at my reflection trying to remember how to smile. If my reflection can do it, so I can do it as well. Yes! Be a man, smile and masturbate! Right now! Smile, masturbate and… what? My face won’t move. I feel like a dummy with a ghost inside. I want to live and move but I’m just stupid and little-understood. I hit this freaking mirror but glass won’t break. Now I feel like a dumb dummy. I won’t shave my changing body today. I will just listen to the weird sounds of wind with bells and pads playing simple and deep melodies – melodies for those who have devoted themselves to the art of dying alone. They decay slowly every day and every night they pray trying to see a face of God but all they see are the whimsical patterns on their ceilings reminding them that past exists. Do they lie to themselves? I don’t think they do. That’s why they have chosen that cold form of art. I wish I could listen to their prayers. Their voices, deeply sincere and desperate confessions are too intimate and painful. Only God and wind can handle it. So wind carries this pure ambient of sorrow, humility and hope straight up there – into the heart of the Universe hoping that it would make some difference. And I think it works. Echoes of this special music make my heart beat. And that dummy in a mirror becomes a human being. Slowly but surely. Look at the skies right now. Yeah, look. There is something beautiful out there listening to this magical ambient and loving all of us. Even if we are dummies convincing ourselves that lies are useful and past is just past.
Links:
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Bandcamp: https://bvdub.bandcamp.com/
